I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
