so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My ass is underappreciated
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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