Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
