I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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