"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
