hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
