just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
