You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
