I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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