What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
babies were throwing up all over the place
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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