im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
