she smelled like a LAN party
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
