i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
