I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
