The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
