Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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