She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
