Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
