alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
