I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
