Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
