I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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