Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
