Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i think i have two assholes
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
