This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
