I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
