I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
