and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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