Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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