Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
