A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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