You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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