I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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