very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
