glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
