is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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