She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
