Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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