Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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