I want to walk on stilts...naked
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
