the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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