A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
