using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
