Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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