yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
