READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
