ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
