you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
