i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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