i just had sex bonerless
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
True strength comes from lack of pants
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
