As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
