Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
