My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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